Day 40: Major set back.. Will someone give this boy a break?!!!!!

Devastated once again. After his ‘bed walking’ practise yesterday we both collapsed on the bed for cuddles and I found myself doing my usual paranoid check him over for lumps etc.

On the leg that has had cancer cut of out it previously; I have found two small lumps within the cancer surgery scars.

They look exactly the same as the previous mass cell tumours. I have no doubt it is the cancer back to get him. I have also been monitoring a very tiny lump on his head, but I’m still not convinced that one is anything to worry about.

I have taken him straight to the local vet for their opinion.

As we walk through the door he instantly picks up on the smell and he sticks to me like glue shaking away. I just feel so awful bringing him here but needs must.

The vet agrees the lumps on his leg are highly likely the same high grade cancerous tumours that he has had previously. Time is of the essence with regard to surgery to remove them. If they get any bigger in this location we will have little hope of removal.

Rather than biopsy the tiny one on his head, it’s agreed that we also surgically remove that lump whilst hes under the general anesthetisic to save the need for potential further surgery down the line.

It was joked that he will now resemble a patch work quilt with all of his scars.

Awwww we don’t care. His scars give him character and tell his story of the very amazing puppy dog that he is!

This would of course all be on the same leg that is currently his weakest and the one he is not putting weight on, so to have further surgery is not something we are relishing.

Fingers crossed this will not have too much of an affect on his progress with his walking, but at this stage we just really don’t know.

Physio will all have to come to a halt whilst this leg heals as a fair chunk of flesh will be cut out (they try to take a 2cm margin in all directions around the tumour) so his skin will be pulled tight making physio impossible until it stretches and settles down.

My poor beautiful baby boy; will someone please give him a break!!!!

I hope so very much that he hasn’t run out of fight just yet. He’s going to need double determination for this next stage.

So today, he has been the bravest of boys going to the vets. There are not enough treats and cuddles I can give him to make any of this ok for him.

2022 seems to so far be one big obstacle course for both Lloris and I for so many reasons. I just hope we don’t ever hit that big wall that we just cannot conquer.

Tonight Lloris can fall asleep in my bed with me for spooning like we always used to. Life now seems to be looking way to short to not love him to the max whilst he’s still here.

I shall sob my heart out tonight and wake up fighting this tomorrow.

PS: there were many toilet accidents today but we have bigger fish to fry to be worrying about that right now.